My Life, My Love

Important Message

2007-04-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

My Life, My Love has moved. Go to www.mylifemylove.wordpress.com to see a continuation of this journal.

Sophiecdotes

2007-04-12T06:24:00.001-08:00

Well, I told you that Sophia started saying "shoot" when she drops something, or knocks something over, or pretty much makes any kind of mistake. Lately, though, she's adopted another of Mama's words: goodness. Sometimes even coupled with "gasha" (gracious). She was cooking in her kitchen the other day, and happened to inadvertently dump a cup full of raisins behind the unit, which was backed up to the wall. She immediately scooted it forward and knelt down saying, as she picked them all back up, "Goodness. Oh, goodness gasha!" She said the same thing to me the other day after I accidentally hit my arm on something as I was walking by. "Oh goodness Mama," and she gave it a kiss.

*

This one requires a bit of background...
Valdez is known for it's yearly Pink Salmon Run, in which, every summer, millions of pink salmon return to the banks near our local hatchery to release their eggs and die. The smell, especially to "new noses", is horrifying and will give you reason to just skip eating altogether on any given day. On windy days here at work (as I work right right near the shore), I'm often sabotaged by the smell as I roam around outside taking an inventory of equipment, or putting new tags on DOT trucks. When you are hit with the smell, your breathing automatically ceases, and you mentally count the steps to the nearest building or automobile that may serve as your sanctuary. Trust me, I've been there.

The only time the smell is completely gone is in the winter when everything is frozen. Which means that while spring is approaching, and everything starts to defrost, well, so do the old pink salmon remains.

Some time last week we drove over the mud flats (one of the fishy areas) and I looked up into the rear view mirror and said, "That's pretty stinky, huh?" She looked up at me from her car seat. "That old fish smell," I said, "is pretty ucky, huh?" She put on a look of defense and irritation and said, "No ucky! Goldfish yummy!" "But that old fish smell, that's gross." I tried again. "Goldfish no gross!" she protested, as if I was insulting her best friend in the world. "Okay, but I'm not talking about Goldfish Crackers - that dead rotting fish smell, that's gross." There was no answer. Apparently she had given up on me.

Happy Birthday, My Love

2007-04-11T05:48:00.000-08:00

The greatest dad the world has ever known turns 32 today. He has the heart of a child, but the strength that is needed to be the wonderful husband and father God has called him to be. I will forever be grateful to Him for blessing us with Isaac.

Happy Birthday to the love of my life.

The Dress

2007-04-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Mom, for the dress. As you can see, Sophia's was quite the doll in it.

A Special Easter Message for Pop-Pop

2007-04-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

Projects Galore!

2007-04-10T13:24:00.000-08:00

This past R&R was one of much kitchen fun. Sophia and I indulged ourselves in such projects as: Pecan Pumpkin Pie, Peanut Butter Cookies, and, shown in the pictures below, Egg Dying and Chocolate-Making.

The Eggs

We actually started out with 10 eggs, but finished with just 5, due in part to my clumsiness, and to Sophia's inexperience with the fragility of those things!

Before we got a chance to pour water and vinegar over them, Sophia attempted to eat the egg dying tablets. She couldn't undertand how something so yummy looking could be "ucky".

The Chocolates

I actually gave this bowl to her so that she could eat the remaining melted chocolate, but she just wanted to stir it instead - which was fine with me. :) (She'll figure it out soon enough, right?!)

These chocolates are a combination of pretzels, chunky peanut butter, caramel, and chocolate. Sophia's job was to get the pretzels out of the bag for me, and to hand the pieces to me for the final dip in the chocolate sauce. At our Easter Dinner, she carried a basket around and handed them out in little bags with pretty ribbon to everyone.

A Perfect Day

2007-04-02T10:59:00.000-08:00

Saturday was the first full day we spent together as a family in about three weeks. It was better than I ever could have imagined it. I met my goal last week of getting up before Sophia everyday, so Saturday was a great excuse to wait for Isaac to bring my baby girl into the bed so that we could cuddle. Breakfast was divine, of course, french toast with yoghurt and berries and real maple syrup. We took a drive to "Old Town Valdez", which is where the town was prior to the earthquake of '64, and walked the trail all the way back to the water.

A large part of it Sophia got to walk herself. The snow was nice and compacted, so she was able to keep up pretty good. We were amazed by the warm weather, which hit a high of 41 degrees, so we all enjoyed a little time without our big coats.

I've lived in Alaska almost my entire life, but I never cease to be amazed by its beauty. As we walked the trail back to the water, only our voices could be heard, the rest was silence created by the thick layer of snow all around us. And to think, God made this for our enjoyment. He knew we would need beauty, so he created so much that one person could never see all of it on this earth, even if they tried.

Sophia loved the birds, and the water, and really didn't want to leave, but the wind started to pick up and the shelter of the trees on the trail was a big relief. Back at home, we ate soup for lunch and all took naps.

A perfect day, if you ask me.

Sophiecdotes

2007-03-29T15:08:00.000-08:00

I'm home this week and next and have been enjoying my time immensely with this little funny girl of mine. She's getting more verbal every day, although we don't always understand what she's trying to get across...

Just the other day, she mumbled something that both Isaac and I didn't understand, and then she started to crack up so hard. When we asked her why she was laughing, she said, "Sophia funny!"

*

Well, if that was her first joke, then here's her first "understandable joke": she finds it extremely funny to call us by each other's names. For example, when I ask her to comply with whatever it is I'm saying to her with a "Yes, Mama", she'll say, "Yes, Papa" and start to giggle. She does the same thing to Isaac by saying "Yes, Mama" to him.

*

But, with her increasing verbal skills, she's also able to express more sorrow and dismay. Like the other day after we went to tot-swim in town and then visited Isaac at the school for lunch, we turned onto the main road heading out of town, and Sophia said, "No home yet!" Poor thing - she just didn't want the fun to end.

ABC, easy as 123

2007-03-26T14:26:00.000-08:00

This girl sure does like her letters. Just last night she and Isaac were showing me a game they made up, where he asks her which letter she would like, she tells him, and then he hands her the letter.

I got to play, too, but every time it was my turn I would say, "May I have the "Q" (for example) please Papa?", and then he would hand it to me. Soon, Sophia was saying, "My have "M" peeze". They learn so fast... It's so encouraging that they pick up on good habits, too, and not just the bad ones. :)

Memories of Days Like These

2007-03-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

There is snow once again, and Sophia is happy to venture out in it. Just last night, while I was planning to do so anyway, she asked if we could "Go side". It is a pleasure to know that she is enjoying being outside again, after all of the horrible, cold, windy days of February and early March.

It was starting to look a little odd outside, too. What, with the ice and snow disappearing down to the dirt and gravel of the roads that surround our house - but with the bitterly cold wind persisting - I felt as if something was just out of place. The snow has brought our temperatures up to the 20s and 30s, and has provided a new base on which we can pull Sophia's sled through the neighborhood - while she scoops up the snow and piles in on her lap, forming a mountain of powder to delight in.

With the turn of the weather, I can't help but think about Sophia's first weeks home after her birth. On those days where she seemed inconsolable, I could always trust that a jaunt out in the fresh air would calm her down. Whether it was the crunch-crunch-crunching of the snow beneath my boots as we ventured about, her in the front carrier, or the cool air on our breath, it always seemed to do the trick. It's hard to imagine that my once tiny babe is now big enough to climb out of her sled when our walk is over.

I started reading a book yesterday that my sister-in-law gave me for Christmas called Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss. I came across some words that made me think of my little girl:

Where does all the love come from?
If I had had her always I do not see how I could be more fond of her.
And do people call it living who never had any children?

Above all else, I am excited for the time when I will get to spend each day at home with her. Being away, though, gives me a chance to think about her and everything that makes her unique... On more than one occasion, especially lately, I've wondered if, when I'm with her all the time, I'll still have those chances to think about her as much as I do when I'm away. I've wondered if I'll have reasons to write about her as much as I do now. I can only hope that I will.

A Fairytale Love

2007-03-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

Introducing Little White Riding Hood...

...and her big bad Papa-wolf who loves her "to death". :)

(Thanks Sheila for the pictures!)

1989

2007-03-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

No year stands out more to me than 1989.

In school, we learned about the fall of the Berlin Wall. 10 years later I would live with a family in Germany whose lives changed dramatically when that wall came down. Without the ending of that separation between Ost and West, I probably never would have come to know and love my German family.

My parents got divorced. We were living in Northern California at the time in a tiny town called Platina on a 20-acre plot of land my parents had bought way back when. My dad loaded the 4 or us kids up in our orangish-brown Ford crewcab, threw some bags of clothes in the back, and we made our way back up North to Alaska.

And on this date, in 1989, the first in the group of our nieces and nephews was born: Kenneth James Kramer. My sister Patty flew to California to visit us that year and show off her new baby boy. For weeks afterward, everytime we'd see a plane fly by overhead we'd wave and say, "Bye Patty, bye Kenneth".

11 years later we would have to say "bye" to him for real. But we never would have had that chance if he hadn't started his journey in the first place. So I want to recognize that gift God gave us on March 20, 1989: the day when his Mom held him and knew that nothing in this world will ever compare to giving life.

Happy Birthday Kenneth!

Movie Recommendation

2007-03-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

Heart of the Game

Just the other day, I commented on Sally's Blog that if she hadn't done so yet, she needed to Netflick this movie. Partly, because one of my family members stars in it (my brother-in-law Bill Resler), but mostly because it is a powerful documentary film about teamwork, sacrifice, and going against the grain when it matters most. You can read more about this movie here, which is also where I got the pics for my blog. (Plus, in the extra features, the narrator - Ludacris - compliments Bill and even takes time to hang out with him, which alone makes the movie worth watching!)

When Sophia was just about 7 weeks old, we went on our first family trip - to Seattle - to see U2 and to let Auntie Sherry and Uncle Bill watch Sophia for an evening. At some point during the trip, Bill took the opportunity to tell us about this upcoming documentary film he was in, so of course we were completely beyond ourselves with excitement when it was finally released on the 28th of last month.

We watched it one more time last night before having to return it. I think we may just have to buy a copy.

And I think you all might just have to check it out.

Of Advice and Time

2007-03-18T15:59:00.000-08:00

You know how older people (no matter how old you are, there is always someone older) are always telling you tidbits of advice they've gathered throughout the years? Like to "not worry about the little things" and to "take time to stop and smell the roses", and other things to that effect? And you know full well that they are trying to spare you heart-ache, and trouble, and lost years? And you listen to them and nod and are completely well-meaning in wanting to heed their advice and learn from their mistakes, right? Fast forward, X-number of months/years later and it suddenly dawns on you that what you actually learned from your lost years and your lost chances is that you need not "worry about the little things" and that you should take time to "stop and smell the roses". What I'm saying here, is that advice is great, but for me, it has only really made a difference in retrospect. In those moments where a light bulb turns on upstairs and I realize all of a sudden what my uncle was talking about nearly a decade ago when he told me that it is important to marry someone who believes in God the same way that you do, is something that I look at now and say, "Yes, Uncle Fred, I know." Because I ended up marrying a man who thought NOTHING more important in life than that I know Jesus as my Lord.

Right around the time Isaac and I were married, I received so much advice from friends and family about how to have a good marriage: take time for yourself every once in a while, encourage him to do the same, respect him as the leader of your family, encourage each other in your endeavors. Then little bit, by little bit, over the course of 3+ years, more light bulbs have started to turn on, and this advice comes flooding back.

I sat in the front pew at church today, which I don't think I've ever done. We usually sit toward the back (mostly so we have a quick exit for a Sophia emergency). But today, I sat up front to hear my husband preach a sermon. He is not a preacher, but was asked by our pastor to take the place this Sunday morning. It was hard for him to say yes, and I saw that, so I tried to justify him saying no, letting him know that it would be completely reasonable to do so. In the end, though, he agreed to do it. I sat there this morning and listened to his words, and I laughed and cried and nodded my head countless times as he spoke about physical light that was created by God, and the metaphorical light of the Savior, and then related stories of his own experiences in being a light to the world around him. All of a sudden, the biggest light of all was turned on. I thought if I could go back in time to give myself any marriage advice, I'd tell myself to "encourage my husband to let the Lord work in him". I'd tell myself to "allow each other to take chances for the Lord", and to "be a light to this world through Jesus our King".

Not that it would have done any good, anyway, but I'm glad to see it now.

Signs and Symptoms

2007-03-17T05:41:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant with Sophia, not a minute went by where I wasn't conscience of the fact that I was pregnant. Conscious of the fact that a living person was growing inside of me - bigger by the second. This time around it's a little bit different. There are actually moments where I all of a sudden remember that I'm pregnant.

In the past few days, what I've been experiencing has brought me to the conclusion that even if I don't dwell on it every second, I somehow always have a way to remind myself of my current state. So I came up with a mini you-know-you're-pregnant-when list.

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You know you're pregnant when...

You start to type a list of something and forget totally what you were going to say. :) (That just seriously happened.)

Ok, I remember. Your dreams of a "scary man" are so vivid, that you're kicking yourself your entire way to work for not checking the back seat before getting in, because now you're sure he's sitting right behind you, being all creepy and scary. And all you can do is grip the wheel really tight and try to get there faster.

When, in the course of 10 minutes, you spill your hot chocolate all over the counter at work, which rushes under the microwaves and popcorn machine (impossible to clean, I assure you); slam your hip into your desk really hard on your way back into your office; drop your pen 3 times before finally securing it in hand in order to write yourself a to-do note; realize you forgot to refill your post-it dispenser; and then slam your other hip on your desk leaving your office to go to the supply cabinet.

You cry at the end of a radio episode of Paws and Tales (it was a really touching one, though, about C.J.'s dad defending "the mule").

You forget for the fourth day in a row that you wanted to load new pictures onto your blog when you get home from work, and end up going to bed earlier than the night before because 1. you're exhausted, and 2. you learned today that 8 hours and 23 minutes of sleep just isn't enough.

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HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Tears to Jammies

2007-03-16T06:08:00.000-08:00

It's amazing that when I think about yesterday evening, it seems like 2 totally different evenings to me. I think if Sophia had the vocabulary, she'd say the same. Isaac started a new job yesterday at the High School that will last until the end of May, which meant that Sophia was at the babysitter. It's very hard for her to nap when she's at others' houses, so she didn't get one, which meant that she fell asleep in the car on the way home and stayed asleep for nearly 2 hours before Isaac got her up. She was NOT a happy camper 20 minutes later when I walked through the door. She could not be consoled - other than to hold her on the couch, in complete silence. I was starving and really didn't feel like having to sit, waiting to eat while a 2 year old girl took 30 minutes to adjust to being awake after sleeping 2 hours. So I suggested that we put her in her crib and she could just sleep more if that's what she wanted to do. Well, she cried and cried and was finally quiet, so Isaac ventured back to her room to see if she was ready to join the family. Here's how their conversation went:

Isaac: Sophia, are you ready to come out and eat dinner with us.

Sophia: No.

Isaac: Do you want to just stay in your bed then.

Sophia: No.

Isaac: I think you better just stay in your bed.

Sophia: No, no, no!

Isaac: Are you ready to come out then?

Sophia: Yeah.

He picks her up and carries her through the hall.

Isaac: Are you ready to tell Mama that you love her?

Sophia buries her head in his chest and tries to avoid eye contact with me.

I made her sit with me at our "breakfast bar" (which is actually more like a meal bar, since we don't really have a kitchen table) and she shared my food with me. After we ate, she was in good spirits and sat in my lap on the couch and even giggled at Isaac's antics as he recounted his first day at his new job. I got up at one point to get some water and noticed a box on the counter...from Grandma Becky! Sophia, when asked, was very ready to open it up and was overjoyed to see all of what her Grandma had sent. And she was so, so happy about her new jammies. After she had them on she danced around the living room and sang a song she quickly thought up called, "New Jammies". We were even happier for those jammies, considering they are the zip up, button at top, kind that she hasn't figured out how to take off yet (just yesterday morning, Isaac found her completely naked in her bed when he went to get her up!)

So thank you Grandma, for the much needed stuff (and the extra fun stuff), and thank the Lord for bad evenings gone good!

Sophiecdotes

2007-03-15T05:41:00.000-08:00

I swear this girl gets funnier by the second.

It's been really windy, dry, and cold here in Valdez the past 3-4 weeks. This morning as I walked from the house door to the car door, I smelled something I haven't smelled since we moved here: static. And it does have a smell. I remember figuring out as a small child what it was, and since then, I've placed it in the group of "smells I dislike the most". It's hard to explain - and Valdez is usually such a wet place, even in the winter - but that moisture has been sucked out of here, leaving us with static. Needless to say, it's been somewhat of a chore to venture outside these days. But I do it, and when Isaac's not at home to keep Sophia inside, she goes with me - all bundled up from head to toe in her stroller. Tuesday was my first day back at work, and one of the first questions Isaac asked her that morning was if she'd like to go outside. "No!" she said. When he asked her why, she said, "Too COLD!" It's really not her fault she has a mother with such a strong desire to go outside everyday, even in this weather.

*

Last week, we had our second Prenatal Appointment at the clinic. Sophia intently watched as the doctor and a medical student visiting from New York rubbed goo all over my belly with the sonogram machine. It took a while, but they found a heartbeat. One of the most beautiful sounds in the world. I don't think Sophia knew what to listen for, but the steady swish-swish-swishing was there, right between 160 and 170 beats per minute. The doctors left for a few minutes, and immediately, Sophia wanted "Up, up!" onto the examining bed. She lay herself back onto the crunchy paper pillow and sheet, lifted up her shirt all the way to her chin, pointed at the machine they had left on the counter while rubbing her belly, and asked, "Sophia baby tummy?"

She's somehow convinced she has one in there, too. :)

*

Last night, while we were busily doing our bills on the couch in the living room, Sophia roamed from here to there, playing a little of this and a little of that. Obviously we were a little too entranced in our work because at some point, she was all of a sudden right behind us, sitting in a chair at the table right behind the couch. I had a bowl of fancy "tea chocolates" up there, and Sophia found one that she wanted to open. By the time I saw her with chocolate in hand (she chose dark chocolate - just like her mama would), she already had it unwrapped. "Sophia, what have you got there?" I asked in my I-already-know-what-you-have-so-you-better-just-hand-it-over tone. "Trash," she said, as she, in one smooth movement, handed the wrappers to me with one hand, and popped the chocolate in her mouth with the other.

Let the record show that I did make her throw away her own trash.

Craft Weekend

2007-03-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

Sunday evening I returned from spending the weekend with some of my very best friends (including my mom) at the Alaskan Leopard B&B on the Hillside of Anchorage for a Scrapbook/Quilting/Sewing Weekend. The whole B&B was ours for the weekend, and was filled with laughter, discussion, movies, glasses of fine wine (for the ones who weren't pregnant :)), great food, and lots of work on our different projects. I was able to complete the first in a series of scrapbooks on Isaac and my life together - starting with when we met and finishing with when we got married. I have a tendency to put together certain events in our life on album pages, and never really form them into an album, so it was very nice to feel that accomplishment.

It was wonderful having time to hang out with the girls. So much was discussed: love, family, births and deaths, funny memories, religion, and faith. Coming away from the weekend I realized that fellowship is not something that can only happen during Bible Study, or Church Service, it can happen anywhere. It happened this weekend, and it was something I needed more than I knew.

So, thanks girls - Staci, Jacquelyn, Jessica, and Mom - for joining me on our get away. Can't wait to do it again (soon).

p.s. I'll try to post pictures soon. Blogger's not cooperating with me, again.

A Day in the Life of Us (when Mama's working)

2007-03-08T14:29:00.001-09:00

Last week I mentioned not getting to post something that I was working on - well, here it is. This day was recorded last Thursday, March 1.

***

It's Thursday morning, at about 4:25, just before my alarm goes off. Sophia wakes up from a coughing fit she's been having off and on for the past few hours and finally starts to cry. Isaac gets her and puts her in bed between us and I reset my alarm for another 10 minutes hoping she'll fall asleep in that time so that I'm able to get up without her wanting to get up as well. She clears her nose by breathing in and out of it really hard and fast and eventually plops her head down on my pillow and relaxes (she prefers my pillow over Isaac's, for some reason). By the time I get myself up out of bed, her breaths are steady and she is asleep. When I come to kiss Isaac goodbye she's has happy as can be snuggled up against her Papa.

She is finally fully awake by 7. As routine will have it, she requests a banana just like she has for the past 300 days in a row. She sits on the couch and slowly wakes up to a Baby Einstein movie.

Now that she's had a chance to wake up, she wants breakfast. Breakfast changes day to day, but today she's offered eggs and she nods her head and says, "With ketchup!" She scarfs them down with her big appetite, and is now ready for bigger and better things.

She gets a little morning reading in.

Takes a shower...
...making sure to wash those shower walls extra good. :)

Requests a blanket because she is FREEZING!
Dresses and brushes those pearly whites. And then it's time to go outside.
Uh-oh. Bad fall. But even worse since Papa has taken an extra few seconds to snap a photo of the event. Poor thing. But he'll soon make it up to her with a special surprise.

Sophia wonders where they could be going...

The Animal Shelter?!!!! Hooray!
The Animal Shelter! We've been reading Curious George and the Puppies a lot lately, so this little girl knows exactly what animal shelters are all about (or at least what kids should now about them). She loves seeing the kitties, the puppies, the big dogs and the turtle.
She teases the dogs by holding the treats a little to far from their lips so they really have to try to press through the cage wall to get to them. She doesn't realize she's teasing, of course - she probably just doesn't want to get too close to those enormous teeth - ouch!

The trip is a success. Sophia's happy as a jaybird, although a little worn out, from their little excursion.
So worn out, in fact, that she drifts off to sleep and stays that way for a few hours...

At around 6:00 I pull into the driveway and park underneath the carport. I'm greeted by a big smile and the one single word that makes my heart leap from my chest, "Mama!" We eat pepper steak, mashed potatoes, and salad, and then disrobe the little girl to free her from her mashed potato mess! Jammies on, story read (Curious George - to recap the day's events), teeth brushed, and back in bed, at about 7:30. Sophia's bedtime is always a good time, because it means Mama's bedtime will follow shortly after.

A day in the life of US, when I'm at work.

Happy Birthday Sophia!

2007-03-05T10:55:00.001-09:00

Sophia came out into the living room after her attempted nap, and wanted one of the balloons off of the ceiling so bad. It took her a little while to realize that there were a bunch on the floor waiting for her to play with them.

The birthday princess.

Isn't she the most beautiful birthday girl ever?

The only game played at the party: Ring Around The Rosie.

Sophia, as well as the rest of the girls, loved the doll cake. The only problem was, I had to blow out the candles before Sophia could even try to. For a lack of a more convenient place to put the two candles, I decided to make it look like the doll was holding the candles. The candles burned down far enough while we were singing that it actually started to burn one of its hands and emit some black smoke. The girls looked pretty horrified that I was burning the doll, but rest assured that it only got a little charred.

One of the funniest moments of the event was when Isaac asked Stacie (pictured far left), after having discussed our upcoming addition, if she thought she'd ever be ready for a "number 2". Being that Stacie was currently involved in a different conversation, her response to him was, "Excuse me?!"

Sophia and her buddies. From left to right: Elaina holding her sister Sarah, Kailyn, and Anna.

From a Mom's point of view, I think it was a success. Messes were made, sweets were devoured, and the girls all played very nice together. And, no one cried the entire time - not even baby Sarah. :)

How Lucky We Are

2007-03-03T10:17:00.000-09:00

First of all, it is a miracle that this picture is up for viewing, as Blogger hasn't been letting us upload photos lately. I had a post that I was working on to put up yesterday, but because of the picture uploading problem, it will have to wait until later. In the meantime, here is a picture our friend Sheila sent us from a couple of weeks ago when we all met at the local Chinese/Thai/Japanese restaurant to celebrate her husband Peter's birthday. It was very nice of them to invite us, and we had lots of fun getting to chat with the family. Sheila has a grandbaby whose about 8 months younger than Sophia, so they had fun exchanging glances from their high chairs.

When I look at this picture I'm reminded how Sophia was such a good girl at the restaurant that day. I'm reminded that not all trips to restaurants are horrible, especially when good friends are around to help you keep those kids in check. Ever since Sophia was first born, we've been able to count on Peter, Sheila, and their family to provide us with all kinds of help, encouragement, and words of advice. So it is no surprise that we can meet them at a restaurant and find that Sophia is just as ready to listen to them as she is to us. How lucky we are to have such friends.

Sophiecdotes

2007-03-01T06:10:00.000-09:00

I can't believe it's already March! Here are a couple of things that have kept me laughing and shaking my head in amazement this week.

After being picked up from the sitters house a couple of days ago, Sophia sat in the truck waiting for Isaac to get situated before driving away. Isaac could hear her talking to herself in the back seat, when all of a sudden she said, "Oh, oh, oh!" and then "Sssssssss, Ohhhhhhhh, two, ssssss, ohhhhhh, two". Not knowing what she was trying to say, he looked back and saw that she was pointing in the direction of the next house down, which was number 502.

What a little smarty.

*
Last night during dinner, I was attempting to get Sophia to eat a bite of her asparagus, which she clearly did not want to do. At first she shook her head back and forth, and then moved her head as far away from the fork she could in the opposite direction, and then, finally, she went limp and hung her head so that her chin rested on her chest, closed her eyes and quietly said, "Peep," which is how she says "sleep".

At least she's creative about it. :)

Getting Older by the Minute

2007-02-27T07:20:00.000-09:00

Sophia, as you know, will be turning 2 in less than a week. She's constantly showing us signs that she's now a big girl - like how she said, "Yes, please" when Isaac asked her the other day if she wanted another helping of green peas, or how she used the potty after getting done taking a shower recently.

Taking a shower seems to be quite the big girl task in itself. But when you consider the fact that we don't have an actual bathtub - just one of those plastic kiddy tubs - sometimes its just easier to let her take a shower. She'll hold the wand and spray herself down (remembering always to do her "Po waschen*"), then use the Avon Roll-On Raspberry Scented Soap her Grandma Becky gave her, and then spray it off. She even does a pretty good job getting her hair wet so that all we have to do is wash it and rinse the shampoo out. I must also admit that she spends a lot of her time washing the shower walls while she's in there - which could be considered the act of a big girl, I guess. :)

She's also getting extremely fun to talk to. When I get home from work, Isaac always encourages me to tell her about my day, and it's really surprising how intently she listens. And how interested she actually looks. When I ask her about hers, she's got so much to say - about horses and monkeys and friends she saw at the post office or at playgroup. The world is her oyster...

Amidst all this growing up, though, I still look at her and see my baby. Despite her loooooong legs and arms, and the way she tells me, "No, no, no" in a really calm voice as she shakes her head, as if she's trying to teach me something I just don't get, she's still the one who started out so small inside of me. She's the one I have memories of lying on my chest after I gave birth to her, squinting because the light was too bright. The both of us feeling slightly out of place, yet also feeling like we were where we belonged. I remember about an hour after her birth she lay in the bassinette beside me. I stared into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity, before finally falling asleep. Our family of two had all of a sudden become a family of three, and nothing seemed more normal.

In about 7 months, that number will change again. And I have a feeling that she will grow up exponentially after that. For now, I want to enjoy my Baby Phia. Her task of Big Sister will come soon enough.

*Po waschen is German for "to wash your bottom".

Sophiecdotes

2007-02-22T13:13:00.000-09:00

Sophia has learned how to open the blinds in the living room. I haven't seen her actually do it yet, as it's usually dark by the time I get home, but I did get to "hear" her doing it this morning. I was on the phone with Isaac when suddenly he admitted that Sophia just caused him to flash the neighborhood in his boxers. Luckily no one was walking by at the moment, and we have no neighbors across the street from us, so he wasn't ever really in much danger to begin with. It was still a crack up, though.

*

Some of you have heard this story, I know, but I really love it. A couple of weeks ago I was pushing Sophia home from our neighbor's house (who lives over 1/2 mile away) and it was pretty chilly. A little windy, too, especially as we hit the portion of the walk that is the side of the highway. I had a little baggy of apples that she asked for, so I took them out of my pocket and she immediately tore off both gloves in preparation for eating them. There were about 8 pieces in all, and once she only had one or two left she looked up at me, and then back down at her little red hands, and said, "Warm all gone." As if it's just a fact of life: sometimes hands are warm in gloves and other times they're exposed to the freezing air. My little Alaskan baby....

By the way, I thought you all might want to see how long Sophia's hair would be if it wasn't SO curly!

New Thoughts, Old Hymn

2007-02-21T10:50:00.000-09:00

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

Written c. 1772 by John Newton*

With the Hollywood movie** "Amazing Grace" hitting theaters this past weekend, I've had the chance to hear this popular hymn on Christian Radio coming home from work the past few days. I've always enjoyed it, I've always found it to be very beautiful in melody, but I never have listened to the lyrics quite like I have this week. Listening past the first verse, I saw how the words are actually mine. I never knew it, but they are.

Grace can cause us to have a healthy fear of the Lord; yet it can also calm the fears we have about our lives here on earth. When I try to think of all of the times grace has gotten me through something - struggles, worries, consequences of sin - I am amazed by it. Really. Being that He always follows through with what He promises us, His Word will always be a form of security to His people.

My favorite part of this version of the hymn is the very last sentence: We've no less days to sing God's praise then when we've first begun. How will I ever be able to fathom something, anything, that has no end? I try to picture my brother John sitting by Christ's side listening to my thoughts, already understanding. I feel that if he could tell me, he'd simply say, "You will."

I'll let that be enough to convince me.

*Many hymnbooks omit one or more verses and add the final one, as was the case here.

**On the way home from work yesterday, I learned from the radio announcer that the movie doesn't come out until this weekend. I'll blame the misinformation on the fact that the closest movie theater is 300 miles away!

Cookies High and Low

2007-02-19T08:54:00.000-09:00

She probably would have put just about anything in there if I had let her. But she sat so patiently, waiting for me to hand her the next spoon or cupful of this and that. When it came time to add the raisins, though, she was surprisingly very stingy. At first she only wanted to put 4 in, but I convinced her that she would be helping to devour these little morsels of goodness with the rest of us, and eventually I think she got the point that the raisins weren't going to be wasted.

Last night we had kind of a different eating experience with her. She woke up from her nap at around 6:00 p.m. and informed us that she would not be eating anything for the rest of the evening except for jell-o. This is how she did it: After she refused to eat her salad and pasta alfredo, she asked to be let down from her chair and go to the couch. Well, a few minutes later I had prepared myself a bowl of jell-o and left it on the counter momentarily to see what it was Isaac was trying to tell me, then I turned around to find the jell-o about 2 1/2 feet lower than it had been, trying to leave the kitchen in the hands of a little thief.

She does this every once in a while. Like the time I was so intently crocheting on the couch that the only definite fact in my head about Sophia was that she was in the same room as I. Upon hearing a "crunch, crunch, crunch" I looked up to see her enjoying a few chocolate hazelnut sticks that Isaac had left on the coffee table. I took them away and said a cheery, "All done!" and put them up on the counter in the kitchen. A few minutes later my work was again interrupted by this same girl asking me to please help her open the container of lemon gumdrops in her hand. Where she got them, I don't know, but I put them up in one of the cupboards and continued crocheting. Not 10 stitches later did I hear the all too familiar "crunch-crunching" coming this time from the kitchen. Sophia had taken it upon herself to climb up into one of the stools (which I didn't know she was capable of at the time) and partake in a few more of these delicious little chocolatey sticks. When she realized she was caught, she managed to shove two more in her mouth before I could get the container away. And then do you know what she said? "All done!"

My mom tells this one story about how when I was a little younger than Sophia, she saw me walk past her with one of my books into the pantry. She then saw me come back out - no book in hand - and walk straight to where my books were to grab another, and another, and another. Finally, she followed me into the pantry and watched me put the next book on the stack of previously carried books on the floor, step up onto it, and reach up to see if I was close enough to the cookie jar to be able to reach one. She said I still had about 50 books to go before I ever would have reached it. What determination kids have, eh? Especially when it comes to sweets. What I've never asked her before, though, was whether or not I got a cookie for my efforts. Well, Mom?

Thoughts on a Girl

2007-02-17T14:05:00.000-09:00

I have a crush...on a girl. She'll be two soon and I can hardly believe it. She's got lots of personality, which sometimes drives me crazy but mostly makes me laugh. Last night, her personality was such that she didn't want to listen to anything I said. She wanted to do just the opposite. She did that up until I realized that: 1. I was with her every day for 17 days in a row, and then I suddenly was gone one morning when she woke up and 2. Maybe she missed me and was trying to tell me in a way that she knew how. Before I had this epiphany, I spoke harshly to her, trying to rebuke her (my Bible study talk coming out) for what she was doing (or not doing). My moment of clarity was followed by an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I felt like I was the worst mom in the history of moms. So we went in her room for the rest of my awake time and talked about toys while she played and I sewed some buttons on a sweater. After Isaac put her in her crib I snuck in for one more snuggle, but decided rather to snatch her up and take her to my bed, where we hid under the covers and waited for Papa to come in so we could surprise him. He was surprised. And Sophia loved surprising him. Then we got to snuggle a little more before I put her back in her crib. :)

I love that she's so forgiving even though I mess up ALL THE TIME. I love that she copies me by saying "shoot" when she drops something. And that sometimes, when she gets up from her nap she realizes she's still tired and asks to be put back in her crib for some "more night-night". I love that she's a laugher and a smiler. And I love that she loves me back.

Broadway, here we come.

2007-02-12T08:42:00.000-09:00

Sophia's been very, how shall we say it, musical lately. It started over at her friend Elaina's house where there's a piano. Sophia must have sat up on that bench for 20 minutes striking the keys and singing her lungs out before I told her to move on to something new. Not that her music wasn't beautiful - because it definitely was - I just wanted her to be able to spend some time playing with her friend.

During the worship time at our church yesterday, she sang along with all the songs. After one in particular, Blessed Assurance (old faithful, as the music director called it), Sophia stood up on the pew between me and Isaac, beamed with pride (I thought she was about to take a bow), and clapped wildly, yelling out, "Yay Phia!!!!". She was so happy with her performance, and so were the three rows of churchgoers behind us.

She also spends a lot of time in a state of musical bliss at home. As you'll see in the clip below, our hours of singing and dancing with Sophia have not been in vain.

3 years

2007-02-07T09:10:00.000-09:00

There was no doubt about it, he had my heart from the get go. And since then, he's loved me like no other ever could - sacrificially, beautifully, completely.

He makes me excited about life. He's the kind of person who can't sleep the night before a trip out of excitement. He dances with us in the living room when a great song is on. He sings in the shower and in the car. He is always reminding me to look past the little bad things to the great big good things.

In a mere 3 years we've seen so many dreams become reality. Or rather, of God's work in us becoming evident. I look forward to a lifetime of His work in our lives. But I will always believe that His first great work in me, was Isaac.

I love you, Babe. Happy Anniversary.

Tea Time = Down Time

2007-02-05T14:48:00.000-09:00

I've somehow managed to hurt the tendon that connects to my right thumb. Now, when I move my thumb, I get a shock of pain down my arm that's almost crippling. My doctor made this splint for me on Friday, which has helped out a lot. I no longer have to think about not moving my thumb, at least, I just have to do things like remember to hit the space bar with my right pointer finger.

I sat this morning drinking some cherry-vanilla tea while Sophia finished her snack. I poured a little of it into one of her play teacups and before I knew it we were having our own little tea party. She'd stop between sips to raise her cup for a "cheers" and to announce, "Phia Tea!". She's getting extremely good these days at "self-praising". We hear the words "Yay Phia" about 20 times a day after she accomplishes all tasks: eating all her dinner or putting her socks on (again and again). She's also getting better and better at cheering her mama up. She reminds me how having only one fully functional hand is actually very useful for passing off the duty of changing messy diapers. :)

All jokes aside, though, she knows how to cheer me up faster than anyone else. Sometimes it just takes her smile, other times it takes climbing up onto the couch next to me to cuddle and watch a documentary on The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill.

Either way, she knows her mama best.

Happy 23rd month of cheering Mama up, Sophia!

Photo Shoot

2007-01-31T14:16:00.000-09:00

Mama took me out for some pictures today.

She even let me wear the scarf Grandma Becky made her.

That's a little too much sun, thank you very much!

These Boots

2007-01-30T08:06:00.000-09:00

Sometimes we get a chance to try on a different pair of boots for a while. Sometimes we do so to get to the next chapter in life.
Sometimes the boots we choose to wear allow us a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes we're glad when it's coming time for a new pair.

717 days in these boots so far. I hope they can retire soon, but for now, they're walking on air.

While You Wait

2007-01-29T05:51:00.000-09:00

I've added something to the last "Sophiecdotes" post (actually, Isaac did :)), so while you're sitting around waiting for my vestation ticker to read "0 days", go ahead and check it out.

Oh, and a quick story to illustrate why I never should have been a mother. A couple of nights ago we were out pulling Sophia on the sled around the block (it's a mile long loop) and talking about how nice it is to go outside like that because we can have an uninterrupted conversation. Sophia can sit and enjoy the ride and we can just talk without having to stop every few minutes to say, "Oh, wow Sophia," or get up to get her some raisins. Anyway, soon after I'd said that she started to say, "Go, Mama, go!" - letting me know that I needed to pull her faster. So I picked up speed and ran while she yelled, "Weeeeeeee!" and I got so caught up in the moment that I thought, "Wouldn't it be so much fun to change direction all of a sudden and whip her around?" The answer, of course, is no. Not with a 25 lb girl. The sled quickly tipped, dumping her onto the ice and snow. You can imagine how she wailed, I'm sure, as we attempted to fish chunks of ice out of the collar of her jacket and brim of her hat. The only way we could console her was to ask her if she wanted to pull the sled on her own. So she did, for the remaining half-mile. It was a late night that night. (Our conversation, by the way, was interrupted every couple of minutes as one of us said, "Let's go, Sophia. Come on, pull your sled faster!")

This is what makes this undeserving mother so grateful that God gave her a chance at it, despite her downfalls:

Ask and you shall receive.

2007-01-27T15:33:00.000-09:00

I must have said it a million times. I wanted a reason to start reading the Bible on a daily basis. I wanted to get involved in some kind of Bible study.

And then, *BAM*

Two studies at once.

Two studies at once?

Currently I am involved in an on-line study of David with my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law. It is the study of the heart of David, the greatest king the Jews had before Jesus. Before I started reading 1 and 2 Samuel, I must admit that the sound of those books alone didn't really lure me in. It took a study like this one to make me realize how much excitement and on-the-edge-of-your-seat suspense exist in these two books. Plus, I am loving the accountability I get from my study group, and am having lots of fun "getting together" even when they live 4,000 miles away.

The other study, Beloved Disciple, will begin the 6th of February at my house, and will be based on the life of John. My friend Jennifer and I have been planning it for about 2 years now and it finally came together, but this was before I knew I would also be doing a study on David (apparently God thought I needed both at once!), so it looks like I've got my work cut out for me. I am excited that, for the first time in my life, I will be meeting weekly with a group of ladies to talk about the Bible. I have never, ever done so before.

I'm praying that the people He has handpicked for these studies are moved and changed because of the time we spend together in His word.

Photos courtesy of Living Proof Ministries: www.lproof.org

Sophiecdotes

2007-01-25T08:48:00.000-09:00

A couple of recent memories that are giving me cause to smile:

Last week when we were visiting Jennifer and her new baby Sarah, we were all sitting around the kitchen table while the girls chased each other on their cars, and screamed, and laughed, and, well, Sophia might have let out a little pressure, if you know what I'm talking about. I was about to blame my husband, but then realized the sound came from across the room where Sophia stood taking care of one of Elaina's babies. Elaina, immediately, ran across the room to her friend, knelt down to get a really good look at the "noise maker" itself, and then, without hesitation, pointed at the middle of Sophia's bottom and said, "Toot!". Well done Elaina, we were wondering who the culprit was.

*

Yesterday, Isaac took Sophia down to visit her favorite beasts of burden, where she had a chance to witness, for the first time in her life, a horse having a bowel movement. "Horsie, poo-poo" she said while Isaac agreed with her statement. "Horsie, poo-poo. Horsie naughty," she said with a scowl. Isaac explained to her that it wasn't naughty, that he was a horse, and for him it's okay to go to the bathroom like that. I don't know if it was out of jealousy of the horse getting to be so free with his actions, or the fact that Sophia just didn't want her world to be turned upside down with news of such anarchy in the animal kingdom, but she started to scream. And cry. She eventually calmed down and wanted to talk about it again, obviously, because she expressed again how naughty the horsie was for pooping out in the open like that. Isaac, once again, tried to explain it to her, and once again, Sophia couldn't handle the information. She broke down in tears. Now when she wants to talk about it, we've learned to just say, "That was pretty ucky, huh?" She agrees.

Future friend, perhaps?

2007-01-24T05:45:00.000-09:00

It seems that I overestimate Sophia's naughtiness sometimes. Her little tantrums she throws out of tiredness in public always appear so massive to me, yet everyone looks at me as if I had an arrow through my head and says, "This? Oh, this is nothing..." In the past when she's been at a babysitter, sometimes for an entire day, I ask how she was and the responses have been "Angelic", or "What a good helper!", etc. Each of her sitters have children themselves, so this opinion is relative, of course. I, having only had Sophia, base all of my experience on her, to where a "bad day" could be one in which she has opened her mouth really wide at me and let out a sound that is similar to when someone has an incorrect answer on a game show. It's really her biggest form of protest. Doesn't sound very naughty, but it is, because right before she does it she gives me a really naughty look - eyebrows knit together really tight, bottom lip in a bulge. And the worst part about it is that she looks me straight in the eyes: EEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH. Again, it may not sound very naughty, but it is.

And then there was last night. Let's just say that I got a whole new perspective. We had a neighbor boy over (who's a few months younger than Sophia) for a few hours who wasn't very happy to be at our house. He's been there before, he knows us, but he just would rather have not been there. Period. In the three and a half hours he was there he probably cried for, hmmmm, three hours and twenty-five minutes (it was actually more like an hour and a half, but it was evenly dispersed throughout the night). We tried everything we could to make him happy: put on Baby Einstein's Things Around the House, offered snacks and drinks, read books, went sledding outside under the beautiful stars.... What really broke my heart, though, was watching Sophia try to cheer him up. She offered him her favorite toys, like her elmo and ernie dolls, she tried to share her snack of grapes with him, and she told him it was ok. On the sled ride I even saw her leaning forward and hugging him. It seemed she was only making things worse, though. As she got closer to him he would scream louder. Eventually, he even hit her (not very hard) to try to get her to get away. Finally we just had to encourage her to play somewhere else because he didn't want to be happy right now.

She went away, but always attempted to make ammends with her "friend" as she called him. And I was so proud of her - for being the opposite of naughty. For being so generous, and helpful, and understanding that her friend didn't want to play with her. That he was just sad and missed his mommy. Isaac kept telling her what a nice friend she was. Maybe if we keep telling her that she'll really be a good friend one day.

One of my all-time favorites

2007-01-22T16:36:00.000-09:00

Catalina Island, August 2006

Two babies holding their toes. I don't know what it is exactly about this picture that I love so much. Maybe it's that soft hue on their skin that reminds me of warm days cooling down. Or the fact that Sophia looks so much littler in this picture. Her face so much fatter, and her hair a little finer. Or is it because I see two cousins infatuated with each other, loving each other, wanting to sit together on a lawn chair while so much is going on around them? (I love how the lumbar support for an adult serves as a head rest for them.)

Beautiful children. I never loved children in general as much as I do now. I always loved kids, but now I look at a child and see so much more: I see the pride (or lack thereof) of parents, and grandparents; I see a person changing in mind, body, and soul every single second; I see the awesome love of God in these wonderful kids. And I have to ask myself why I never saw any of this before.

I think Sophia has given me a reason to slow down a little bit. To, as they say, stop and smell the roses (literally - even fake ones). She gives me a reason to appreciate EVERYTHING so much more. Way too many things to count, so I'll just say "thanks Sophia", and leave it at that.

If you wait, she will eat.

2007-01-20T08:17:00.000-09:00

I've discovered a little trick to making Sophia eat what we make for dinner: Don't feed her any snacks 2 hours beforehand! May sound a little cRaZy, but it works. Last week, I actually got her to eat some pork. And the other night, chicken. Amazing. It actually makes sense, too. I mean, it works for adults, why not kids?

Take me for example. A good friend of mine gifted me a bag of oriental trail mix that I brought to work to snack on, but shortly thereafter I realized I didn't really care for it. So it sat there, in my office, waiting for the time when I would be so stark ravin' stravin' that I would devour a couple of handfuls of it. And, it happened. It's actually happened about 10 times now (the bag is nearly empty) and I can hardly believe it, because each and every time I finish eating my little snack of oriental trail mix, I think to myself, "Never, again." Yet there seems to always be an "again". And again, and again.

All this to illustrate that if you are really, truly hungry, you will eat food. Whether it be pork sandwiches, or dried, weird looking cracker things with wasabi flavor sprinkled all over it. (They are all-natural, I might add, although I can't fathom how.)

Sometimes, though, Sophia is just plain stubborn (No! - you say). It seems that if we act too interested in the fact that she's eating something, she'll throw her spoon to the floor and that will be it. Incidentally, when she was eating that chicken the other day, I had to look away in fear that she would see the joy on my face, and decide not to eat it after all. I acted like I couldn't care less, until of course she had eaten it all and I jumped up and down with complete and utter delight. If I ever had a chance of being cool in my life, that chance is now over. :)

Getting the chance to be a mommy to this little stubborn angel makes it way worth it.

Seeing Sarah

2007-01-19T11:02:00.000-09:00

We had the pleasure of meeting Miss Sarah Suzanne last night, born Monday at 11:23 p.m. Easily one of the most beautiful new borns I've ever laid eyes on. Her skin tone is perfect. She is totally content. She resembles her sister Elaina, but has her own unique face that is just darling. Such beauty that makes your eyes well up with tears of joy.

As you can imagine, Sophia, too, was pretty impressed by this beautiful baby girl.

Sophiecdotes

2007-01-18T11:01:00.000-09:00

Some things that are making me go into spontaneous laugh today:

A few days ago Isaac and I were talking on the couch together (our favorite place in the whole world) and I glanced over at Sophia, who happened to look up at me at the same time. Her eyes lit up, she cracked a slight grin, and started to back up a little bit. I looked back at Isaac and kept talking, but by the time I looked back over at her, she was laughing hysterically and running away, tripping over every toy and blanket while she desperately tried to find some sort of sanctuary from her crazy mother who was "chasing" her all throughout the house. This is what our chasing games have produced.

*

Last night I was on the phone with a friend and Sophia was playing nicely next to me, until she decided to climb up on the back of the couch and onto the blanket-fort that Isaac made her. If you've ever made one of these, you know how unstable the tops of these blanket-forts are, as they are made of only blanket. :) Before she could fall into it, I pulled her back and scolded her about sitting nicely on the couch, and she could have gotten hurt, and please never do that again, which I ended with, "Okay?". No response. "Okay, Sophia?" Nothing. "Sophia. Okay?" "Otaaaaaaaaaaay!" was her response. Made me feel like a total nag, but gave me a good laugh, too.

*

This morning Isaac told me about how he'd tried to engage Sophia in conversation (while she stared blankly at one of her Baby Einstein videos) by asking, "Sophia, where's Mama?" She continued to stare at the TV but shrugged her shoulders. He asked again, yet her eyes did not move from the screen, and she shrugged. After he asked for the third time, she looked at him in the eyes, jerkily shrugged her shoulders, and then turned back to the TV. Did you not see me the first time, nor the second???

Mlle Sophie - la Raisinière

2007-01-17T10:29:00.000-09:00

We have quite the little chef roaming about our house these days. Her specialties are coffee, eggs, and juice, but they all have something in common: they are made from raisins. Don't ask me how she does it, for I haven't the slightest idea, but my daughter is able to magically tap a raisin on the edge of one of her hot pink plastic plates, and - voilà! - it is suddenly an egg that she is letting slither out of its cracked shell into a sizzling pan on the stove. Delightful.

If, at any given time, we develop the need to give Sophia something to do, we can say, "I sure would like some coffee right now (which is funny, because we don't even drink coffee), Sophia, could you go and make me some?" And off she'll go, so eager to please. So ready to perform her chefly duties. While cooking she'll snack on her raisins until they are all gone, and then turn to ask, "Reena*, tup?", which you may have guessed means "Can you put more raisins in my cup?". We might want to research as to how many raisins should be eaten by an almost-2-year-old per day. But then again, we might not. :)

For Christmas she got a few new babies and lots of new baby gear, so she's been dutifully performing her motherly tasks as well. And although she can be a bit neglectful at times with some of her children, I think she is a very good Mommy. I've even watched her some nights as she feeds her baby a "baboo" before she herself can fall asleep. As Isaac has said, "I never imagined I'd be a grandparent this early in life."

*On a side note, "Reena" is a shortened form of the German Rosina (raisin).

Snow, snow, and more snow

2007-01-14T15:47:00.000-09:00

Sophia's "best friend".

Introducing him to one of her real best friends, Elaina.

I don't know what we would have done without the help of these two girls. They are such good little workers!

Elaina's Eyes

2007-01-10T20:43:00.000-09:00

We visited with Sophia's friend Laina, as she calls her, today for a while. In an attempt to prove to her that I wasn't going to use the flash while taking pictures of her (she despises the flash), I let her take a few pictures of her own. Not bad for 22 months old, if you ask me.

On the other side...Finally!

2007-01-06T15:35:00.000-09:00

In one weeks time, our house has served as a quarantine location for the common cold, the stomach flu, and even pink eye. It's as if we've been served a smorgasbord of different diseases, from which our immune systems pick and choose where they'll be defenseless.

Next week: flu shots. First thing.

But for now, we've recovered. Today, Sophia even had her first play date since we left California last week. And she slept through the night the past 2 nights in a row! Without Sudafed even! Hooray! It's surprising, really, how the grass in your own yard gets greener while your trapped inside being sick. (That's my own little saying that I just made up - but maybe I should have said snow instead of grass...and whiter instead of greener...but the point was made nonetheless.)

Speaking of snow, I hear much of Alaska broke some snowfall records this past week. Sophia helped me shovel the other day by carrying chunks of snow from the middle of the driveway over to the sides of it. She surprised me when she asked, "Zee, zee?" (which is Sophia-talk for the German sitzen which means "to sit"). "Where?" I asked, puzzled. Then she pointed at my shovel, turned around, stuck out her bottom, and let it fall into the shovel head. So I tilted it back and pushed her all over in the snow while she giggled and eventually fell off on one of the turns.

She seems to love to go outside because of the snow, but even more so because of the neighbor's "Horses and Honies" (she can't seem to say Pony). She gets to visit them once a day and feed them celery or carrots, or just say hi if we don't have anything for them. Lately, she's been pointing to the door in the evenings and asking after them. I just tell her they're sleeping, and that's good enough for her. It's reasonable since it's dark out at 6:00 that they'd be sleeping. I'm starting to wonder what the excuse will be in the summertime when it doesn't get dark. Hmmm... At least I have the whole rest of the winter to figure that one out - while healthy, hopefully.

Christmas 06

2007-01-04T10:23:00.000-09:00

Looking back on last week, I'd say we had a pretty great Christmas. Isaac's whole (immediate) family made it up to N. California to celebrate Christ's birth at his sister's house. It was a comforable 30 degrees almost the entire time we were there, and we even got some snow on the day after Christmas! We were the first to show up, so Sophia got some individualized time with two of "the cousins" (we'll call them Emonee and Yon-Yon to protect their true identities). Yon-Yon was Sophia's superhero the whole time (notice how she's staring at him in the picture at right), and you'd have thought that Emonee was her very own daughter the way she loved her and wanted to take care of her. No matter how many times Emonee tried to rip Sophia's hair out from the root (Sophia apparently has some great hair for that), Sophia recovered with as much love or more for Emonee than before - but perhaps with a little more attention to Emonee's little grabbers. After a couple of days, the other cousins Deet and Tallgirl showed up and made things even more exciting. I can only imagine the friendships that will evolve between the cousins throughout the years...

The family celebrated Christmas on the 26th, so on Christmas Day Isaac and I took advantage of our spare time and took a 6 hour roadtrip out West to see some countryside. It was beautiful. The weather was perfect and we took a different route back and drove on a very narrow country road where we saw deer and wild turkeys. It was certainly one of our favorite dates yet.

Sophia's grandpa, or Pop-Pop, as we call him, dressed as Santa and surprised the kids with a visit and some stockings. Sophia enjoyed getting the stocking, but didn't want to get too close to that weird bearded fellow. The day ended perfectly with a wonderful dinner lovingly prepared by Grandma. We are so happy and indeed blessed to have had the chance to share Christmas with family.

Vestation?

2007-01-03T05:57:00.000-09:00

I still want to post a little bit more about our trip before I return to "normal life" posts (I'm still kind of in that state of post-trip-reminiscence), but quickly, I wanted to mention the countdown clock I've added about vestation. Isaac asked me last night, "Is that even really a word?" And, or course, my answer was a bold, "YES!", with justification being that we say it here at work. Then, after much thought, I realized how confused some people could become at the reading of it, and decided I would just tell you what it means.

Simply, vestation is the state of being vested in a company. Or, in my case, labor union. January 30th marks 5 years in the union to which I belong, ensuring that I will never lose the hours I've put in, and that I'll receive a retirement check (however substantial) when I turn 60 years old.

This vestation was the reason I continued to work after my daughter was born. It's also the reason Isaac's been a stay-at-home dad this whole time and that I've been subject to this goofy schedule. It's the second of the ten-thousand goals we seem to have accumulated in our time together (the first was getting our Kirby Vacuum paid off - woo hoo!). And soon, our next goal will be met. I just felt it deserved a final countdown.

Ding, Dong, Ditch

2007-01-01T14:02:00.000-09:00

She couldn't help but add to the mystery.

I don't want to brag, and I'm not going to say that I have the best behaved child in the world, but she was pretty darn cooperative during our Winchester Mystery House Mansion Tour in San Jose, CA. With the most perfect of timing, she called out, "Oh, WOW!", to the beautiful stained glass windows and gorgeous views of the courtyard from the very top of the house. She sat comfortably in either Papa's, Mama's, Oma's, or Papa Pete's arms the entire time. AND, she even gave our tour guide a great big hug and said "Dae do" (thank you) at the end of the tour. What a sweetie.

She and I have been sick the past few days (as have others in the family, I've heard) so our nights have been somewhat short of serene. A couple of nights ago she cried and cried with a horrible stuffed-up nose until both Papa and I got up and sat with her on the couch. It's all kind of a haze to me (thank you Theraflu), but I do remember one particular instance when I was holding Sophia on my lap, with all 3 (thank you Gloria) of her blankets wrapped around us, her Papa singing and playing guitar ever so softly, she said, in the sincerest voice I've ever heard, "Dae do, Mommy". Is there anything better than that in the whole world?

Same people, same clam, different year

2007-01-01T11:43:00.000-09:00

More on Monterey

Then...

and now.

It's hard to believe that two years ago I was not far from giving birth to our beautiful baby girl. That's right - if you can't seem to find her in that first picture, it's because she was snug in her mommy's tummy.

Jellyfish, and Penguins, and Slimy Stuff...Oh my!

2007-01-01T06:03:00.000-09:00

Before we went on this trip down South, I started to wonder why we'd never taken Sophia to an aquarium before. There's a very nice one in Seward - we'd just never taken the 500 hundred mile drive to see it. (Maybe that's a reason in itself!) After taking her to the one in Monterey, I'm glad we waited. She seemed to be the right age to enjoy herself and not get too worn out through the whole 5 hour excursion.

Marina Dunes

2006-12-31T16:05:00.000-09:00

She seemed to like the water a little too much.

We had an awesome time visiting my mom and her husband when we were down in the Bay Area before Christmas. Being only 100 yards or so from the beach made it easy for us to plan our daily walks by the water. Sophia loved it. We had to really watch her because she would get running and we'd almost get the impression that she planned to dive right in - or get really, really wet and cold, to say the least.

Gingerbread House

2006-12-31T10:15:00.000-09:00

They look simple enough, but in fact, these little houses took quite a bit of time and energy to complete. It was all worth the while, though. Our friends Staci and Kailyn came over before we left for California so that the girls could make gingerbread houses but considering what a time Staci and I had with them, the girls will have to get a little bit older before we give them a shot at it.

They did enjoy eating the treats, though, so I'm sure it was all the same to them. :)

A cornucopia of...JOY

2006-12-11T07:43:00.000-09:00

Isaac brought to my attention the other day, while we were merrily trimming our 7 ft. hand-picked-from-our-own-backyard Christmas tree, that the topper we use is actually a cornucopia. We got it a few years ago at a company Christmas party as a keepsake. It sat on our table at the party and housed an array of chocolates and other goodies. We took it home, put it on top of the tree, and that was that. Now every year it seems natural to stick this cone on top of the tree. And so it goes with traditions...

I've been thinking a lot about the meaning of the word cornucopia, and the fact that we put one of these on top of our tree, and (being that the Christmas Tree is a renowned symbol for Christmas) I can't help but think of the abundance of so many things this time of year- not just physical things, but those, too. The abundance of activities, and music, and friends and family, picture taking, and attention to detail, and thoughtfulness and charity. And also joy. I do realize that not everyone in the World experiences this joy, for not everyone knows Jesus. It truly is a joy to know Him, especially at Christmas. What a joy to think of our Savior coming into this world. What a joy to think of the plans the Lord had for Him. What a joy that we can celebrate His birth with song and praise and time spent together.

Blessings this Christmas Season, as you each experience your cornucopia of joy.

Funny, funny girl

2006-12-09T15:23:00.000-09:00

Sometimes I think we're living with two children. This little girl of ours seems to have, at times, a dual personality. She can be so sweet and sensitive to others. She'll pat your head when you're taking a snooze on the couch. She'll give you the biggest hug and sigh while she's doing it for extra emotion. But then... she goes down for a nap and emerges as a little troll who's mad at the world. So much as offer her water when that's not what she wanted, and she'll shriek at you with such contempt, that you'll think she's the White Witch and you're Edmund, and you've just returned without Lucy, Susan, or Peter.

Is this what they call Toddlerhood?

She's been waking up during the night more often these days. Of course, I'm such a deep sleeper that I barely even know whether or not she's had a bad night, or a good one. Poor Isaac. Last night, apparently, she cried and cried until he went to get her, and when he picked her up she sobbed, "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" So he brought her to me and I soothed her to sleep by rubbing her head and saying, "shhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh" over and over until she drifted off. The fact that I had to be told this proves what a multi-tasker I am. I suppose it also proves how tired I am.

It's no lie that this little girl of ours - this girl that's getting more and more independent with each passing day - is delightful. She cracks us up and surprises us and makes us beam with pride. And I know that in order for her to be as delightful as she is, she has to have her time where she doesn't always please everyone, especially us. And part of me loves the fact that she can show me that she's angry, or frustrated, or just in a bad mood. That's part of who she is. I know it will help her to be more balanced if she can learn at this age how to express her discontentment. She'll just have to do it in the corner, that's all. :) (The only problem with the corner, is that I get the feeling she likes it there. But that's a whole different story!)

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

2006-12-06T15:21:00.000-09:00

Saint Nicholas Saving Seafarers (December 6)

From the Belles Heures of Jean, duke of Berry, fol. 168r

The Limbourg Brothers, France (Paris), active ca. 1400-1416

Tempera and gold on vellum

The Cloisters Collection, 1954

The Metropolitan Museum of Art - New York

Did you know that if you say "St. Nicholas" really fast it comes out sounding like "Santa Claus"? I found that to be such an amazing piece of information when we were told by our music teacher in fifth grade. When I lived in Germany right after high school, I experienced my first real "St. Nicholas Day". My host mother advised me, "Putz deine Schuhe sehr gut, sonst laesst Sankt Nikolaus keine Suessigkeiten fuer dich." (Clean your shoes up well, or St. Nicholas won't leave you any goodies.) I must have spent an hour getting them just right before leaving one of them by my bedroom door and climbing the ladder up to my loft bed. The next morning I was greeted by a shoe full of candy and oranges. And although we didn't do an Advent Kalendar, I was able to see a few very neat ones, one in particular that I especially liked. It consisted of 18 hand-sewn pouches linked by a string and hung on the wall. Each pouch contained a different gift for each day leading up until Christmas. (I hope to make one similar to it for Sophia for next year.)

Full Lives

2006-12-05T12:44:00.000-09:00

Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. ... whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it the full." John 10:7,9-10

Knowing Jesus means having a full life, certainly. If, we take advantage of the opportunity. In my life I see having Jesus as finally having love - being truly loved for who I am, and being able to love others through Him. To think of all the opportunities we each have every day to show our love - to show Jesus' love. Personally, I can think of many opportunities I have to reach out to people in Jesus' name. Most of those chances are blown away with the wind as I'm contemplating whether I should take the chance or not. This verse reminds me that I shouldn't hesitate to reach out to someone. It just might make this life that much fuller.

I'm reminded of my brother-in-law Fred, who seems never to miss such an opportunity. He, his wife Charif, my husband, and I traveled to Costa Rica together a few years ago on a "double honeymoon". We stayed in a small town on the Caribbean Coast for a week in a house we rented right on the beach. The people we met were so lively, and friendly, and helpful. Fred wanted to give something back to those who had helped us have such a unique and awesome trip, so he invited everyone over for a party. We served spaghetti, and laughed, and talked... But first, Fred prayed for the meal and for our fellowship together. Being newly saved, I remember this making a huge impact on me. Even though some (probably most) of the people at the party that night had little if any knowledge of, let alone faith in, Jesus, Fred was willing to share Him with the group.

Today, I am encouraged to experience the fullness that Christ gives us, and take that chance to reach out in His name.

Nursery Rhyme Time

2006-12-01T05:33:00.000-09:00

The itsy, bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.

Down came the rain and washed the spider OUT!

Up came the sun and dried up all the rain.

And the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout again.

As you can see, she's very serious about this process, especially when she yells, "Out!", but makes the umpire signal for "Safe!". A couple weeks ago when she and I went to Toddler Tango together, she chose the hand for her prop, so we all sang a counting song. Since then, however, we've been practicing the itsy, bitsy spider song. So yesterday at Toddler Tango, guess whom she chose? Mr. Spider, of course.

Thanksgiving and a Birthday

2006-11-27T19:20:00.000-09:00

Every Thanksgiving, I'm reminded that my brother Gregory's birthday a) just happened, b) is about to happen, or c) is happening. I had the pleasure of getting to talk to him on Thanksgiving this year, and although it wasn't his birthday until Sunday, I was happy to get to wish him well. I know there is no possible way he could know how much I love him, pray for him, and hope for a relationship with him again one day. He is a good person, and I wish I could post a picture of him for this "birthday post", but maybe someday I can. Until then, I am very thankful for my family, of course, my darling husband and most intelligent daughter. For my beautiful mom, and generous dad (who drove 300 miles to be with us and to bring Sophia her own personal kitchen to cook her portion of our meal!), for my lovely sisters (especially the one who called me at midnight the other night to ask me what if I used to be the "shoe" in Monopoly when we were kids - Tara), and hilarious brothers. For all the people whose lives touch mine - daily, monthly, or even just once, ever.

So Cool

2006-11-14T11:14:00.000-09:00

Do you ever come to the realization that your kids are so much cooler than you? And they're not even trying - but I guess that's mostly what makes them so cool. Sophia, for instance, is so carefree that she'll dance whenever there's a good beat to dance to. She doesn't look around to see who's watching her, she just hears the music and starts to sway, clap, and boogie. Mama's there taking pictures of her while she's doing it, who cares? We're in church and there are 100 people laughing at her while she shakes her booty, so what? I absolutely love this about kids.

It's other things, too, though. Not just the dancing. It's also the fact that when she's tired of something she'll announce, "All done." Whether it's that we're giving her too many kisses, playing a game that's getting too boring, or being held by someone she's a bit wary of - "All done." It's as simple as that. She doesn't even worry about awkwardness. SO cool.

The other day she just about broke my heart. My dad was over visiting and for some reason was eating later than the rest of us. He was on the couch with his plate in his lap when Sophia noticed him there and moseyed on over and climbed up on the couch next to him. She kept him company while he ate (pointing out all of the "apples"* on his plate and such) almost like she was doing it just to be nice. But she wasn't. She was doing it because she loves her Grandpa, and that's pretty cool, too. That's the kind of "cool" I hope she stays.

* On a side note, Sophia calls almost any piece of produce "apple". At first I thought she was so smart because she could point out the apples at the grocery store, but then we saw the oranges, and they were "apples", too, and yams - "apples", the list goes on.

Same girls, different season

2006-11-11T07:02:00.000-09:00

LATE SUMMER

Overalls, and light jackets...bare heads and carefreeness.

(Fast forward 3 months later.)

EARLY WINTER

Bodies covered from head to toe, trying to enjoy this thing called SNOW.

If you haven't met her before, take this opportunity to meet Elaina, one of Sophia's best buds on earth. Born only 2 days apart, each has never known life without the other. Together, they are learning to share, to make jokes, and to encourage each other. Yesterday, shortly after boarding the sled, Sophia wanted "OUT!", but Elaina wanted "MORE!". Elaina squealed and yelled "WEEEEE!" just enough to make Sophia relax and realize how fun it was to be pulled faster and faster in the sled. Soon, they were both squealing and laughing and enjoying the snow.

Clean as new fallen snow...

2006-11-09T05:45:00.000-09:00

We Valdezians are beginning to wonder where our winter is. More specifically (because, after all, it is about 22 degrees out as I type this), where all of our SNOW is. Last week we were fooled by the 1/2 inch of snow that fell over us after slowly creeping its way down the mountain sides. We took Sophia out to taste her first snow, and to ride in her sled for the first time. We thought to ourselves: This is it! Here it comes! But then what does it do, but go away, and leave us with frozen dirt.

One of the talents I've always loved about snow, is its ability to make everything look clean. Alaska is known for its junk cars in driveways, but it snows, and they're suddenly gone - poof! Not-very-well-manicured-lawns (ours for instance, although we do have big plans for it) are suddenly gorgeous with their new blankets of snow. It reminds me of a verse I read this morning:

'Come now, let us reason together,' says the Lord. 'Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.'
Isaiah 1:18

When God cleanses our hearts, our sin in gone, and are hearts are left as clean as new fallen snow. What a beautiful thing.

2006-11-07T13:23:00.000-09:00

What I think of when I see this picture...

Catalina Island, August 2006

"Jeeves, get the limo, we're going on a drive."

"How do you like my new permanent?"

or even, strangely enough

"Does anyone know where the nearest weight room is?"

(If you guys are up for it, now would be a good time to play Choose Your Own Quote.)

Papa

2006-11-05T07:12:00.000-09:00

Dear Sophia,

Last night when I watched you with your papa, putting on his stocking cap, and standing near him while he played his guitar - trying at every chance you got to strum on it yourself - I couldn't help but notice how much in love you are with him. (And then how every few minutes you would stick both hands straight in the air and yell Hot Dog! - that was not so touching, per se, but extremely amusing...) Usually when I'm working I find myself very contemplative about you, and your relationship with me, and my relationship with you, and I start to feel like we're both a little cheated. I start to take every little apathetic jesture and look as a personal condemnation. I start to feel like I'm being punished for not being at home with you.

But, last night, what I thought about was something Isaac said about you watching my every move. Moments like the ones I just mentioned are where I usually doubt that idea. I doubt that you watch me, because you only see me for a couple of hours a day, and by then, well, you're just not used to me and so why would you bother paying attention to what I do? (See how mature I am!) Last night, as I watched you with your dad, instead of feeling like you don't love me, I thought about how much you love him. And I felt proud that - in the teeniest tinyest way maybe - I have taught you to adore him. He thinks you watch me and my every move, and maybe that is true. But maybe what you're seeing is my love for him and my want for his attention, and that's what you want, too.

You are a smart girl to want to adore him. I know how important a girl's relationship is with her father, and I want you to have the best one possible. I also know that your time with him is something extremely rare, and that he thanks God he gets the time with you that he does. Because here's a little secret, he adores you, too. No one can ever take the place that you have in his heart. And that's a lifetime investment.

P.S. Happy 20-months birthday!

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T07:56:00.000-09:00

The secrets to carving a great pumpkin.

First, watch Papa to see how it's done.

Then, get over how "ucky" it is.

Start scoopin'.

Assist Mama in making the face.

Click here to see how it turned out...

Cute as a bug

2006-10-31T05:52:00.000-09:00

Sometimes Halloween Carnivals are just too hard on little bugs.

The loves of HER life...

2006-10-30T16:02:00.000-09:00

What does Sophia love? Well, let's see now... Cheese, raisins (both at once are always good so as to keep her regular!), anything Mom and Dad are eating in our own little bowls while sitting on the couch (usually ice cream), and, of course, spaghetti! I'm so lucky to have a daughter who enjoys food even more than I do. She was a big help to Mama in preparing this spaghetti dinner for us. She even decided after the pot was full of noodles, that we needed just a few more, so she shoved them in, too.

I let her help with dinner every night, so now, when she sees me in the kitchen, she'll run in yelling, "Up, up!" and expect to get scooped up and be let stir or add something. She's such a good help, I don't know what I ever did without her!

Case of the Great Marshmallow Caper

2006-10-23T22:31:00.000-08:00

The Promise

2006-10-21T21:33:00.000-08:00

On October first, I stood and watched as one of my closest friends in the world said her final goodbye to her father, as his ashes were buried in the Palmer Cemetery. This picture was taken there.

During what was probably the hardest time of my life, this same friend found the time and money to come and be with me when I needed her most.

Two people there for each other - definition of friendship? Might as well be...

The morning of my brother's accident, Lyndsi had written a song that seemed to be too well timed. She sang it at his memorial service. It would have fit perfectly into her dad's as well, but somehow she has made it John's song. It is something we will always have, and I thank her for that.

Games

2006-10-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love most about being home with Sophia, is getting to play with her. There are a few games that we indulge ourselves in on a regular basis, including the chasing one I mentioned earlier. Some games, though, are a little less conventional.

One of my all time favorites is playing the game of "hide and seek". Up 'til this point, I am always the one who hides and she the one who seeks. In the living room, I take one of her green blankets (her decke) and I wrap it up all around her really tight so that it takes a while for her to get out. Then I run to either our bedroom, her bedroom, or the entry way and hide until she finds me. When she does, I let out the roar of a lion, and then the chase begins. If she can make it back to her decke in the living room before the Mama Lion catches up with her, than she's saved. She'll see it and start panting, "Decke, decke, decke..." and then collapse onto it and hold on tight. If I try to tickle her, than she'll she'll tell me "Decke!" - as if to say, "I'm safe, remember?".

Last night we all played a wacked-up game of "Duck, duck goose" where Isaac lay and I sat in the living room, and she weaved her way through us around and around going, "Nah, nah, nah, nah," the whole time. Every time she went around or in front of one of us she kind of sped up, both in her walking and her chanting, because she knew, eventually, one of us would reach out and grab her and get all kinds of tickles in. She loved the game so much that later that evening, after we had finished with our walk, she went straight back into the living room and walked in a big circle chanting "nah, nah" again. What a big goof.

Flood

2006-10-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

With all that's happened in this past week, I've had a lot of time to think about what's important to me. When we were told that we'd have to leave our home (what?!) I was overwhelmed with anxiety. Thank goodness I had, just last week, organized my pictures into one large mound of boxes and stacks in our bedroom. But that, even, didn't seem like we were prepared enough. Thoughts raced through my brain about safes - waterproof, fireproof, earthquakeproof safes. I thought about the things I had left at home to face possible destruction: letters between me and Isaac, the journal we had kept when I was pregnant with Sophia, my wedding dress - not to mention Isaac's bear rug.

The truth is we are never prepared enough to "save" our belongings. In an instant, all of what we physically possess could be gone.

What I've learned from this is not that I should disregard all of what I own, but to rather spend my time and energy in my relationships first and foremost. My relationship with God, my family, my friends.

I am grateful to be back home, but I am also grateful for the reminder.

To view some pics from the flood, go here.

Cordova, Alaska

2006-10-08T04:51:00.000-08:00

Weekend before last, I had the pleasure of traveling with my mom and Sophia to Cordova, AK, where I spent the first 5-6 years of my life. It was amazing to be there again, but this time with my daughter. It was fun hearing Mom's stories and seeing Sophia play in places I had played as a little girl. And, of course, it rained and poured almost the whole time.

Sophia had a great bonding time with Grandma Donna. They played and laughed (I think my mom laughed more than Sophia!). It is always nice to see them together. (Note: Sophia looks a little "serious" in this picture, but let it be known that she did have a wonderful time! For example, the first night she didn't go to sleep until well after midnight, as the ferry ride made her way to excited.)

I can't even describe how much it meant to me to see the house I was born in. Even though it was somewhat worn down, it didn't change the fact that it was where I drew my first breath. I just kept thinking, "Who could ever be expected to get a house re-painted in all of this rain!"

Cordova is not only the place where I was born, or where my older sisters went to high school, but also where my nephew Kenneth is buried. It sent chills all through my body to stand next to him, and to have Sophia "meet" her cousin here on earth.

Kenneth has moved on to a much bigger and better place. Keep him company, John, until we get there.

Home Grown

2006-09-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

This year we transplanted some raspberry bushes from our friend Sheila's yard to ours. We never would have imagined that they would produce berries this year, but they did, and just yesterday Sophia got to enjoy them.

Photos by the mad fishicist.

My first weekend away

2006-09-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

Apples B&B, Big Bear, CA

Last weekend was the first time I had ever spent a night away from Sophia - and in this case it was two nights! I only cried twice; once right before I left her, and once that night at the B&B. She, on the other hand, is reported to have not even cried once, not even a questioning, "Mama?" Is this a good thing? Is it weird for me to want her to have just a little bit of separation anxiety?

My mother-in-law, my two sisters-in-law, my baby niece Emily, and I all drove out to Big Bear, which is about a 3 hour drive from L.A., and spent the entire weekend reminiscing, creating, eating (the food was so good!), and of course scrapbooking. What a pleasure it was to have 2 whole days to myself with some of my favorite people of all time.

Nevertheless, I was so, so happy to get to see Sophia when we finally picked her up. She was pretty darn happy, too.

http://applesbedandbreakfast.com

Catalina Island: Part II

2006-08-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sophia's favorite parts of the trip...

Endless supply of yummy food from aunties, uncles, grandma, grandpa and cousins. Here she is enjoying some chili cheese fries from Auntie Charif.

Glass bottom boat tour - all kind of fishies!

Riding in golf carts all over the place without her car seat!!!

Spending time with her family.

Catalina Island

2006-08-23T13:26:00.000-08:00

Our fun in the sun and sand was definitely had this past weekend on our visit to Catalina Island. I would say it was a very successful first beach trip for Sophia.

So many shoes, so little time.

2006-08-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

She's only 17 months old, but already learning how to walk in 'heels'. Anne would be proud.

2006-08-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

Future marathon runner.

Summertime, summertime

2006-08-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

I can smell it in the air, see it in the morning when I leave for work, and almost even sense it in my bones: Summertime is coming to a close in Alaska. Are we ready for Fall? For colors changing, and (more) rain falling, and daylight leaving? It would seem that, for as long as it takes for Summer to get here, it would want to stick around for a while...

We went camping up at a place called Squirrel Creek last week. Sophia gravitated toward the water immediately, but didn't actually see it until she emerged up over a little hill of dirt between it and our campsite. She yelled out, "Oh, WOW!" and looked at us as if to say, "LOOK, what I just FOUND!"

As this was the last thing we did before I returned to work this hitch, I feel like it was my chance to say farewell to the summer. We roasted hotdogs over a fire, and threw rocks into the lake (Isaac skipped rocks, we just threw them). Sophia and I even watched as her daddy landed a beautiful rainbow trout for her to look at (to which, she responded, "fishy, fishy, fishy"). It all seemed to be the perfect way to move into Fall.

We'll play in the sand...

2006-08-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

In all the times Isaac and I have visited his family in Southern California, we've never had a chance to go and play on the beach. We've been to the beach a couple of times while visiting family there, but only on cooler, windier days that require jackets and long pants. This first picture is of the first time I went with him - when we surprised his mom, Becky, for Mother's Day three years ago, and I had a chance to meet the whole gang. We went to the beach that weekend, but it was beginning of May and still pretty chilly, especially with those ocean gusts.

It has always been quite the novelty for me to be able to play in the sun on the beach. The first time I can remember ever going to a "real" beach (i.e. light-colored sand, sun overhead, and water you can actually swim in) was when I visited
Central America on a school trip as a 14-year old. My mom tells me that when we were little, my brother John and I begged to go to "the beach" on nice days - which consisted of a man-made lake surrounded by piles of dirt at the end of the highway in Cordova...
The beach trips since then have been few and far between- I can probably count them on both hands. Isaac and I had one week's worth of fun in the sand on our honeymoon in Costa Rica (2 1/2 years ago!). I'd say we're about due for some more beach time.

Hence, my excitement for our upcoming Catalina trip next week. We will swim, and build sand castles, and look at pretty fish through our snorkel screens. Sophia will play in the sand (and require the use of sunscreen!) for the first time. I can just imagine her with her little plastic bucket and shovel - taking big scoops and filling up the bucket, and then dumping it out only to repeat the process again.

I almost forgot to mention the whole reason we're even meeting in Catalina. My father-in-law Fred is having a birthday - Happy 60th Fred!

Amazing Love

2006-07-17T11:54:00.000-08:00

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken.

I’m accepted. You were condemned.

I’m alive and well, Your Spirit is within me

Because You died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be

That you, my King would die for me?

Amazing love, I know it’s true:

It’s my joy to honor you.

In all I do I honor You.

~ Billy James Foote

Here are are some shots of my family out by the river near our house. When I see them, I think about the love I experience from them, and wonder: How could God's love could be greater than this?.

It is, and I hope I never forget it.

Sophia - Say Uncle

2006-07-13T09:32:00.000-08:00

We miss you Uncle Freddy. We loved having you here with us in Alaska. Come back and visit us soon (and bring Charif, Penny, and Daniel, too).

Girls Day Out!

2006-07-12T18:35:00.000-08:00

Sophia and her friend Kailyn had a fun time today at the park. They were a two-baby band as they tried out all of their cute, goofy sounds around the big girls.

Grand Dad

2006-07-06T15:35:00.000-08:00

So much love...

...for the baby girl.

How lucky can a girl be to have two grandpas who think
the world of her. From kisses and hugs, to treats and fun,
this little girl knows she's loved. Thank you Grandpas, for
giving her no chance but to think the world of you, too.

Lessons from a toddler

2006-06-06T14:06:00.000-08:00

It seems Sophia prefers to go it alone these days. She knows Mom likes to hold her hand, but she wants to show the world how independent of me she is. There are still those moments, however, when she comes to a hard spot in the road, and looks up at me, arm outstretched, knowing I'm there to help. And then, hand in hand, we step up onto the sidewalk together, or over a puddle, or up a stair.

It goes both ways, I've learned. During the week after my brother's accident, Sophia was there to make me smile, and occasionally, even laugh. She gave me kisses to heal my sad heart, and patted my back when I was hunched over and sobbing. I had no idea how much I need her help, too. All I have to do is reach out my hand.

Mom and daughter. Hand in hand. For life.

We Are Seven

2006-05-30T20:51:00.000-08:00

by William Wordsworth

--A Simple Child,
That lightly draws its breath,
And feels its life in every limb,
What should it know of death?

I met a little cottage Girl:
She was eight years old, she said;
Her hair was thick with many a curl
That clustered round her head.

She had a rustic, woodland air,
And she was wildly clad:
Her eyes were fair, and very fair;
--Her beauty made me glad.

"Sisters and brothers, little Maid,
How many may you be?"
"How many? Seven in all," she said
And wondering looked at me."

"And where are they? I pray you tell."
She answered, "Seven are we;
And two of us at Conway dwell,
And two are gone to sea.

"Two of us in the church-yard lie,
My sister and my brother;
And, in the church-yard cottage, I
Dwell near them with my mother."

"You say that two at Conway dwell,
And two are gone to sea,
Yet ye are seven!--I pray you tell,
Sweet Maid, how this may be."

Then did the little Maid reply,
"Seven boys and girls are we;
Two of us in the church-yard lie,
Beneath the church-yard tree."

"You run about, my little Maid,
Your limbs they are alive;
If two are in the church-yard laid,
Then ye are only five."

"Their graves are green, they may be seen,"
The little Maid replied,
"Twelve steps or more from my mother's door,
And they are side by side.

"My stockings there I often knit,
My kerchief there I hem;
And there upon the ground I sit,
And sing a song to them.

"And often after sunset, Sir,
When it is light and fair,
I take my little porringer,
And eat my supper there.

"The first that died was sister Jane;
In bed she moaning lay,
Till God released her of her pain;
And then she went away.

"So in the church-yard she was laid;
And, when the grass was dry,
Together round her grave we played,
My brother John and I.

"And when the ground was white with snow,
And I could run and slide,
My brother John was forced to go,
And he lies by her side."

"How many are you, then," said I,
"If they two are in heaven?"
Quick was the little Maid's reply,
"O Master! we are seven."

"But they are dead; those two are dead!
Their spirits are in heaven!"
'Twas throwing words away; for still
The little Maid would have her will,
And said, "Nay, we are seven!"

However many days, weeks, months or years pass, let us never forget our brother John and that with him, we will always be seven.

Friends

2006-05-28T05:40:00.000-08:00

What would we do without that much needed hug from a friend when times are worse than ever? What would we do without those few people who can make us laugh no matter what? What would we do without that one friend who stands beside us, even though they are 3,500 miles away?

God knows how important friends are and can be to us. I thank Him for mine.

John Gregory Knapp: June 13th,1979 - May 20th, 2006

2006-05-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

My older brother passed away last Saturday night. On my break today at work, I wanted so badly to talk to him, so I wrote him a letter.

Hi John, 5/27/06

Well, we talked not even a week ago, but it seems like an eternity. This whole thing makes me excited to come to heaven to see you, but I know that God has a time for me, just like He did for you. And when that time comes, we will embrace each other, and it will seem like only yesterday that all four of us piled in the same bed to sleep, or played endless hours outside together. When I think about our life together, I think of us as children. I think that’s the most perfect we’ll ever be in this life.
I never got a chance to tell you, John, but I want to thank you for standing up for me so many times. I always felt, and will always feel, that you love me. I hope you know that I love you, too. I’ve always worried about you, even when we were little kids. Maybe God’s giving me a break now. I don’t have to worry about you any more because I know that at this point you couldn’t be any safer than you are in His arms. I can’t express how elated I am that you came to the point of wanting nothing more than to have Jesus in your life. It gives me so much peace to think of you in Heaven right now.
I know you had some really tough times, John, but I also know that you were the victim of a horrible addiction. I could see your sincerity in wanting to be free of it – but I also understand that you wanted me to be proud of you. I am proud of you. I’m proud that you are my brother and my friend. I’m so proud that you made a huge effort to make amends with everyone in the family these past few years. The Lord made a change in you that words cannot describe. I remember talking to you at Mom’s house right after you had seen The Passion, and how, at that moment, you reminded me of the John I knew when we were on Knight Island “fishing” in the creek, or in Platina playing on the brush pile. Jesus has returned you to the same childlike innocence that you started with.
Everyone had a different relationship with you, John, and everyone will have to deal with your death the best way they know how. For me, it’s almost like you’ve let God handle that part. It’s almost like I don’t have to justify anything, because I know that you knew the truth, and that I will have the rest of ETERNITY to spend with you. Thank you for having the faith to let Jesus handle the details; thanks for giving the one thing you had in this life – yourself – to Him. “That whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

I’ll see you there big brother.

Snapshots

2006-05-05T18:51:00.000-08:00

So much to do,
so little time to do it...

We're having fun making
all kinds of memories with
the little ones.

74 degrees?

2006-05-03T15:28:00.000-08:00

We're still trying to get used to the heat, but we're having so much fun hanging out with Annie, Jonathan, Emily, and Dave. We arrived yesterday morning, and today, have already had the chance to visit Jonathan's favorite hang-out spot - the park!

Sophia's enjoying the chance to explore this whole new outdoor world. Watching her play on the jungle jim makes me excited for all of our snow to melt in Valdez, so that we can play at the park there, too.

$35.00/night with outdoor pool

2006-04-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid (and now, too, but especially when I was a kid), just the thought of staying in a hotel with a swimming pool made me happy. The jumping, the splashing, the breath-holding contests under water - it was all such a blast! As far as I was concerned, the only difference between a "good" hotel and a "bad" one was whether or not it had a swimming pool.

One year in early March, my family took a vacation to southern California. We stayed at a really cheap motel that would have been pretty mediocre had it not had a pool. It did, though, so as far as we were concerned, we might as well have been booked over at the"Disney Land Resort".

It was a pretty slow day at Knott's Berry Farm, so my brother Gregory and I decided to go on the log ride 15 times in a row. Being already soaked after the first run, and knowing our dad would make us go and change our clothes anyway, we decided to take advantage of our drenched state. It didn't end there, though. We had to, of course, pass the pool on our way to our motel room. Gregory suggested it, I agreed, and we both jumped in, fully clothed, and laughed and swam and were observed by some of the other guests there. "We're from Alaska!" we yelled out at them, and they nodded their approval.

Last week my mom came down for a visit and stayed at the only hotel with a pool here in Valdez. Sophia and I, of course, leaped at the opportunity for some pool time and had so much fun. She loves the water, but I've never met a kid who doesn't. I'll try to remember that when she some day begs us to stay at Rowdy's Motel because it features an "outdoor pool", even though there's a much nicer Holiday Inn across the street.

Emily Anne Duffield

2006-04-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

Our family was blessed with its newest member last night at 11:33 p.m. California time. Weighing in at 7 lb., 9 oz., she's 20 inches long and has blue eyes full of wonder at her huge, new world. My husband and I were so blessed to have the chance to actually HEAR her being born last night in the comfort of our bed. Over the phone we not only heard the last push, but also that she was indeed a girl, and that she was beautiful (although we new she would be).

And today, this little girl, whom I haven't even met, has somehow been able to make me feel as if I am walking on clouds. There's a spring in my step, and I find myself more compassionate, more friendly, more understanding. Emily has arrived! She is healthy, her mommy is happy, and life is good.

In less than 2 weeks, Sophia will see her baby cousin, and I my baby niece, for the first time. Isaac wishes he could be there, but instead will be fishing in Yakutat. :)

Congratulations Annie, Dave, and Jonathan on this precious little girl!

He has risen indeed!

2006-04-18T12:28:00.000-08:00

It was a drizzly, some-what windy Easter in Valdez this year, but we loved having the chance to recognize what our Lord has done for us: so much more than our everyday blessings, in fact, He has given us the promise of eternal life. And for that, we will always have a reason to smile.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Thirty-One

2006-04-11T11:27:00.000-08:00

Roadtrip to Fairbanks - March '03

Here's a picture of Isaac and me on one of our first dates - only days before his 28th birthday. It's hard to believe that this is his fourth one since then, and that so much has happened in our life together. I always wonder how I would have met Isaac if it hadn't been for my dad's insistence on getting ahold of Tim and Josie, their persuasion to call him up, or my own courage in going to meet him. There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord planned this union of souls from the get-go.

His birthdays give me yet another reason to count my blessings. I'm so grateful for the chance to have him as my husband and friend.

I love you Isaac. Happy Birthday.

L'enfant cherie

2006-04-06T20:33:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I look at this girl and think, "Has anyone in History ever been this beautiful?" She looks at me with those huge, blue eyes; she rubs her hand over her light, curly hair; and then she smiles and goes back to doing whatever it was she was doing: talking to her toys, reading her books, or wrapping the phone cord around her neck as if it were a necklace. What a girl.

Lately, I've really noticed how much she plays off her dad and me. I love to chase her around the house acting like a crazy person. She screams and crawls, but gets so excited / nervous that she just collapses on the floor awaiting her imminent "death". Then throw Isaac into the picture: He holds on to her tightly while saying, "Oh, no, she's coming Sophia! She's gonna get you! AAAAAHHHHH!". And THAT is when she really freaks out. She climbs up her dad, begging for him to save her while I get ever closer, and finally, reach her and eat at her ribs until she dies of a laugh-attack. I've never had so much fun in my life.

Booked

2006-03-30T05:48:00.000-09:00

The ticket is purchased, recipes for the yummiest home-cooked meals are slowly being gathered, and our hearts (mine and Sophia's) are set on visiting Annie, Dave, Jonathan, and little baby Duffield in May. We are so excited to spend 7 days with the Burney Crew for some family bonding time - I can't wait to see Sophia and Jonathan loving up on each other. I have many activities planned for those two little rascals (including dress-ups and photo shoots!) so that Annie has plenty of quiet time with her little one.

We can't wait! We love you guys!

Blessings

2006-03-22T12:59:00.000-09:00

Thank you, Lord, for everything you've shown me.
For everything you've given me to touch, smell, hear, feel, and taste.
Thank you for experiences like Manzanillo, people like Anne, and pets like Velvet.
Thank you for mountains, and sunshine, and snow, and rocks, and fresh-water streams.
Thank you for second chances, and third chances, and fourth chances...

Thank you for the love of my life.
Mi amor, mon amour, meine Liebe.
Thank you that he is so darn perfect for me.
Thank you for bringing us together to love one another.
Thank you for letting that love be grounded in you.

Thank you for the chubby legs and tiny feet of a baby girl.
Thank you for giving me enough love for her, and allowing that love to change every day.
Thank you for kisses from little lips.
For high fives, zerberts, and a baby's ability to listen to the same Children's Bible Songs CD a thousand times and STILL not tire of it.
Thank you for molding me into your image of mom and wife.

I will try my best not to take it for granted.

photos by heath

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2006-03-17T17:20:00.000-09:00

Sophia has been hiding a Leprechaun in her closet all day. She's getting way too in to this luck o' the Irish thing.

As you can see, she's wearing a pretty new dress that her grandma Becky brought for her when she met us in the big city last weekend. For any of you out there who are interested in the pattern, we've taken an upclose shot to verify those clovers.

No pinch for Sophia this year!

It's official.

2006-03-16T18:13:00.000-09:00

Our daughter is a princess.

Left, Right, Left

2006-03-14T17:48:00.000-09:00

Our little girl has taken her first steps! 9 days after her first birthday, she has decided that she can do it. And she did it with no prompting at all, amazingly. She stood and held on to a chair in her bedroom, while I sat on the floor sorting through some papers. She turned toward me, let go and stood there - balancing perfectly on her two tiny feet - before she took three steps in my direction. I screamed with excitement. Her dad rushed right in to see what was going on, and was so proud to see his baby girl walking. It's been about an hour now, and all three of us our exhausted from practicing.

Birthday Girl

2006-03-05T19:01:00.000-09:00

What fun we had today with the little birthday girl! Her daddy brought her out to the living room this morning to a birthday surprise - a life size baby doll named Molly, who "breathes" when you hold her in a certain position (and who also looks a lot like Sophia!). She gave her lots of kisses, and talked to her. She's so life-like, in fact, that I think Sophia expected her to do more than just stare at her. Not as good as her real friends (although sharing won't be an issue), but fun nonetheless.

1 Year Ago Today

2006-03-04T15:05:00.000-09:00